By Jacey Blue Renner
Evolution of the Family Dynamic
Modern families are ever evolving. What was once deemed a categorically traditional or nuclear family—with a mother and father at the helm—now finds space to shape-shift and accommodate children where they need the most support. In 2026, every family shape is unique, holding value and traditions in a way that is the perfect fit for each member.
According to the Los Alamos National Laboratory Foundation’s January 2024 Resilient Families Report, “More children are being raised by grandparents and kin in New Mexico today than in 2017. Grandparents and kin play an increasingly important role in raising children in New Mexico. From 2017 to 2023, the number of children in kinship care (where grandparents or kin raise children) rose from 30,000 to 36,000, an increase of 20 percent.”
In addition to new legislation that will provide support to grandparents through the state’s Kinship Caregiver Pilot Program—which begins this month and will help families in Rio Arriba and San Juan counties—many grandparents still need emotional support systems that may not already be in place.
Rebecca Sonnenberg, a licensed clinical social worker and CEO of Albuquerque nonprofit The Lotus Affect, seeks to provide grandparents with additional resources and support they may need while raising their grandchildren.
The Lotus Affect: Origin and Programming
Established in 2023, The Lotus Affect has developed programs that “aid in teaching families, children, and youth the tools to overcome adversities, see the strength in themselves, and develop their own why, so that they can overcome any obstacles, past, present, or future,” according to its website.
Sonnenberg, formerly in law enforcement, noticed a very real need in New Mexico. “I very quickly realized if we could get individuals the help they need to heal, we could end their journey into the world of prisons, jails, and constant irreversible damage. In working in different aspects of law enforcement and social work, I see more and more the lack of services our youth and individuals with severe mental health problems may not even know they have access to.”
These fragile support systems also extend to grandparents and their journey as primary caregivers for New Mexico’s youth. Often, monumental and generational gaps can lead to inter-family challenges. Sonnenberg herself was raised by a single mother, and the two personally experienced the benefits of grandparent support systems, she said.
“As I got into my field, I saw how many grandparents in New Mexico are raising their grandchildren and how few resources they have,” Sonnenberg said. “So, I thought it would be imperative to come up with a program that would help them work on skills with their grandchildren, work through their feelings about raising a new generation, and, in doing so, help heal the intergenerational trauma I see throughout New Mexico.”
The result is The Lotus Affect’s sub-program, called the Dragonfly Affect. It aims to empower families—especially those that are grandparent-led—as they attempt to break cycles of intergenerational trauma. Families in the program work with licensed therapists and community support workers to find their family-specific paths forward.
“We want them to know they are appreciated and that they are not alone,” Sonnenberg said of grandparent caregivers. “We want to work with them on developing the ability to establish a new and different relationship with their grandchild than they thought they were going to have. As a grandparent, you think you’ll get to do all the fun stuff and send the grandkids home. Now you are acting as the parent, and that isn’t optional. So where can you feel safe to share those feelings, while also learning how to play, regulate emotions, and understand your own intergenerational trauma and boundaries? We work with grandparents and their grandchildren side by side, as well as provide individual therapy for each.”
“Having the toughness of the mud causes the lotus to be stronger,” Sonnenberg said. “Just because the elements in life are hard doesn’t mean beauty can’t grow from them. You can come out of the mud just as strong and beautiful as the lotus.”
If you know of a family that may be appropriate for the Dragonfly Affect program, please contact Rebecca Sonnenberg, LCSW, at 575-201-3155 or [email protected].
To learn more about additional programming at The Lotus Affect or to donate, visit thelotusaffect.org.
