Senior ‘Bigs’ Have Impact One Child at a Time
By Autumn Gray
Anyone reading this has already heard the medical community’s tips for how to keep sharp mentally and strong physically – engage in new activities, exercise, and socialize, to name a few. What if you could tick those boxes while transforming a child’s life for the better in as little as four hours a month? At risk of sounding like a late-night TV infomercial, you can, and at a price determined by you. Volunteering with Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Central New Mexico to be a mentor to a child is a time-tested elixir for both the young and young at heart.
As the nation’s largest donor- and volunteer-supported mentoring network, Big Brothers Big Sisters makes monitored matches between adult volunteers (“Bigs”) and children (“Littles”), creating lasting, meaningful relationships that help young people achieve their full potential, and help older people to keep growing. With January being National Mentoring Month, there’s no better time than now to see if Big Brothers Big Sisters might be for you.
Andy Tibble, 65, has been a big brother to 13-year-old Enzo Dominguez since October 2023. They go on about three outings per month together for an average of three hours at a time. The organization average is four to six hours per month, usually on weekends or after school weekdays.
Since Enzo and Tibble are both energetic and into sports and the outdoors, they often play soccer, shoot hoops on a park basketball court, hike with their dogs, and attend library events. They also almost always eat, Tibble said.
“My wife’s big criticism is, ‘You’re not really volunteering because you’re really just going out and having fun,’” Tibble said.
It’s no accident that Enzo and Tibble share so much in common. Big Brothers Big Sisters pairs Bigs with Littles using a proven matchmaking program, but only after rigorous background checks and screenings for safety have been conducted. Matches are also tracked to ensure they work out.
“It is taken very seriously,” said chief program officer Deanna Sauceda. “We look at the interests of the volunteer and the child – if they both like arts and crafts, or gaming, or want to become a film maker. We really like to match based on interests.”
Importantly, there is no age limit for volunteers.
“Can you be 65 and have a buddy that’s 13 years old? I think you can,” said Tibble, a retired college math teacher who was missing a lot of the activities he used to do with his now-grown children. “When you’re 13 years old, there’s a lot of adults telling you to be responsible, but (my relationship with Enzo) is not based on that. Though I am a mentor to him, I try never to be parental with him. Mostly I want to focus on the friendship aspects of it. “You’ve got to be flexible to let them drive a lot of it. You’ve got to just be willing to try some new things. We’ve gone to Empire Board Games and that was new for me. We’ve gone to the library and he’s attempted to teach me origami.”
Volunteers are matched with children ages 6-14. Of the 332 active Big-Little matches in Albuquerque, the average mentor age is 39. Yet almost 25 percent are over age 50.
“You’re never too old,” said Sauceda, 66, herself a Big. “The No. 1 reason people come to volunteer is to have an impact on their community and to make a difference. Every one of us has been a mentor to someone, whether we knew it or not, just being you and being willing to share your life – to share your wins and your losses, to be a listening ear. That’s all it really takes.”
Statewide, Big Brothers Big Sisters serves 1,000 youths. In Albuquerque, there are about 400 active big sisters and 200 big brothers. Even so, 225 boys and 175 girls in New Mexico sit on a waiting list for a Big, with male mentors in particularly high demand. It can take from two to four months to be accepted as a mentor, depending in part how quickly the volunteer moves through the application process. Big Brothers Big Sisters conducts thorough vetting for adults who must fill out an application, undergo a background check and fingerprinting, provide references, and be interviewed.
Though serving as a Big is not terribly time-consuming, volunteering is not to be dabbled in. It is a commitment that requires regularity and reliability. Much of Big Brothers Big Sisters’ grant money supports children in single-parent homes, those who have incarcerated parents, are in failing schools, have learning or mental health challenges, or are immigrants or refugees. The only qualification for a child to enroll to be a Little is that their family wants some extra support from another adult in their child’s life.
Enzo, for example, gets excellent grades, is cerebral by nature, and lives in a stable and loving household. However, after Enzo’s father died in 2017, his mother recognized he needed a supportive male figure. Then there’s Calli Grady, 12. She comes from a very large family, where individual attention for every child is hard to come by.
Having a big sister “gives her an opportunity to do things that she might not be able to do, like archery,” said Kari Brandenburg, a former district attorney who is in her late 60s and has been Calli’s Big for two years. “It’s exciting to see them grow and develop.”
Calli and Brandenburg see each other about three weekends of each month, baking together, doing crafts, visiting a mystery house, or going to places like the zoo or aquarium, followed by a meal out.
“It really is about meeting their needs,” Brandenburg said. “Sometimes we have teachers and we don’t know they’re planting seeds (that impact our future selves). It would be gratifying that Calli had some experience with me that changed her life when she for the better when she got older.”
Indeed, studies show volunteer impact is, well, also big. Organization statistics show that nine of 10 children in the organization’s mentoring program will graduate from high school, and eight of 10 will want to go to college. They are therefore focused on making good choices, avoiding risky behavior and violence. National research has shown that positive relationships between Littles and their Bigs have a direct and measurable impact on children’s lives, according to the organization’s website, https://www.bbbs-cnm.org/. Thanks to adults who volunteer as Bigs, Little Brothers and Sisters are:
- more confident in their schoolwork performance;
- able to get along better with their families;
- 46 percent less likely to begin using illegal drugs;
- 27 percent less likely to begin using alcohol;
- and 52 percent less likely to skip school.
“The goal is for kids to reach their full potential and have a plan when they’re ready to leave high school,” Sauceda said. “With our youth today and the challenges they face, they need us more than ever to step up, especially when so many things are influencing them and they’re having to make important choices.
“Sometimes they don’t want to talk to their parents, so what are their sources of information? Is it Instagram? Is it Tik Tok? Is it their peers? Having a caring adult around makes such a difference.”
By mentoring these children, being a friend to them, an adult they can look up to and count on, Brandenburg said, “You’re committed to making the world a better place.”
Having worked as a program manager for match support with Big Brothers Big Sisters in the past, Enzo’s mother was well aware of all that a Big could provide her son: “As a single mom feeling spread thin and trying to give my kids the individual attention they deserve – I know I can’t always do that. Big Brothers Big Sisters gives (all four of my) children undivided attention.
“Any relationship is a risk, … (but) I encourage volunteering. It does make a difference.”
Big Brothers and Big Sisters has been supporting youth and families nationwide for 120 years and in New Mexico for 55 years. The organization offers a variety of programs for which volunteers are needed. The Community-Based program, which emphasizes personal mentoring as described above, is just one. Others include Group Mentoring in which volunteers meet with and mentor ninth-graders at South Valley Academy in small groups, and a Mentor 2.0 online program, which involves pairing professionals with high-schoolers to focus on college readiness.
To begin the application process to become a big brother or sister in the Community-Based program visit https://www.bbbs-cnm.org/volunteer-interest-form/. For more information about various programs or to donate, visit https://www.bbbs-cnm.org/. A helpful list of FAQs is at https://www.bbbs-cnm.org/volunteer/faqs-for-bigs/.
Top statements made by Big Brothers Big Sisters mentors:
- I’ve been changed.
- I’ve grown as a person.
- I’ve become more patient.
- I’ve really felt like I’ve had an impact on someone’s life and they’ve had an impact on mine.
- I’ve gained a lifelong friend.
- It’s fun!
